Valentine’s Day, Go AWAY, Come again another day…
Written by Mark Brennan
Dear Reader, the first thing to inform you of before you venture further into this article, is that the brilliant editor of the Festival Formula blog insisted I edit this piece to try and sound less negative about love, romance, and Valentine’s Day. As such, keep in mind the words that lay before you are the ‘happy joy joy’ version of their original ancestors, mired in much deserved misery and pessimism.
So, with a deep breath and doing my best to channel Richard Curtis… let’s go.
If you’re one of those people who feels that romance is dead, the annual celebration of just how right/wrong you are is just around the corner. The time of the Christmas movie is over, the time of the rom-com has begun. Countless films exist that capture the glory of love (some believable, some ridiculous), but how many offer an antidote to it? What if the happy ending in every Hallmark movie doesn’t happen or takes a real-world dive off a cliff? Luckily, there’s films for that too.
Finding the perfect anti-Valentine's Day film is not as simple as just watching a film with no romance in it, like a horror, thriller, or sci-fi. The best ones take all the hurt from a love lost and make you feel like they know your pain, that someone gets it. So, again, if you’re one of those people who feels that romance is dead… you’ve come to the right place. Welcome.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) directed by Michel Gondry
Let’s start with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). This isn’t your usual “love conquers all” fare. Instead, it explores the idea of erasing memories of a relationship gone wrong - because who wouldn’t want to scrub an ex out of existence entirely? It’s a gorgeous, melancholic film that’ll have you wondering whether it’s worth the pain of remembering someone you loved, or whether it’s better to just forget it all. It’s heartwarming, but in the kind of way that leaves a lingering sense of, well, despair.
Swingers (1996) directed by Doug Liman.
Next up, Swingers (1996). If ever a film captured the embarrassing emotional flailing that can come from a devastating break-up, it’s this one. The cringe is cranked to 11 as Jon Favreau's lovelorn Mike embarrasses himself again and again as he struggles to get over his ex. Thankfully, Vince Vaughn (in a scene-stealing role) leads a plucky band of friends all trying to get him through it as best they can. You see Mike squirm in the storm, and then you see the possibility of life on the other side once it has been weathered. Actually, this one has a large serving of hope at the end of it, leaving you dangerously close to feeling like maybe things really can work out. Beware.
Brief Encounter (1945) directed by David Lean
Finally, there is the grandaddy of them all, Brief Encounter (1945). Not just the grandaddy because it is the oldest, it’s also the most cunningly disguised film that you think is going one way and then it goes another. If you’re already feeling sore about a break up or the one that got away, watching this isn’t so much pouring salt in the wound but diving into an Olympic-size swimming pool of the stuff and back-stroking until you pass out and drown. Figuratively, of course. Don’t let that take away from the fact it really is a bloody brilliant film.
Cursive (2023) directed by Isabel Steuble-Johnson
Fortunately, the short film circuit offers a veritable buffet of anti-romance far, as unlike features it doesn’t have a commercial need to cater to the wistful masses. In fact some of our clients who have films including Live, Laugh Love (dir. Aaron Cassara), where a separating couple invite darkness into their home (love it); Broken Hearts (dir. Julie Magnaudet); where there is literally a hospital for broken hearts and prescriptions include rebounds; Fast Food (dir. Felicia Manning), highlighting the continuing curse of the fuckboy; Cursive (dir. Isabel Steuble-Johnson), which proves all you need is fabulous handwriting rather than a woman; and A Woman Is Many Things (Just Fine Isn't One of Them) (dir. Chase Musslewhite), where a divorced 40-something ends up navigating calamity at her ex-husband’s engagement party.
Broken Hearts (2023) directed by Julie Magnaudet
We’re spoilt for choice here at FF HQ when the time comes to cleanse our Valentine’s Day palate. Of course, all of the above (I am assured) is written with my tongue firmly lodged in the side of my cheek, not least of all because it won’t be anywhere else any time soon.
So, however you celebrate/commiserate this 14th February, always remember someone out there feels exactly the same as you do! So, get through it, see these films, and I’ll see you on the other side. Now, where’s the wine?
